Do you have a secure, anxious, or avoidant relationship with mirrors?
Some people use a mirror as merely a reflective tool for modern-day necessities; others can’t stop inspecting their reflection, while the third group would rather avoid using a mirror entirely. Perhaps, because seeing their reflection negatively affects their mood or body image, This article primarily focuses on the third group. We’ll explore how one can learn to love their reflection, even in their most vulnerable state.
What’s a Bare Butt got to do with it?
This post was partly inspired by the “No Mirror Challenge” – an experiment where participants choose to avoid using a mirror for several weeks, in an attempt to escape the harmful emotions that it invokes. But what if the secret to conquering these insecurities lies in the act of unabashedly observing ourselves – even while in the nude?
Stripping For A Good Cause
At first, the concept of embracing nudity may seem like a bizarre prescription to offer someone struggling with their body image, but it holds incredible potential for personal growth. Relationship expert, Dr. Jenn Mann, suggests that being naked can diminish shame, allowing you to establish a stronger connection with your body and foster self-acceptance.
Wildist also talks about how Nudity is a powerful tool for self-acceptance and overcoming trauma. They believe that “when we remove the costumes of everyday life that cover our bodies, we uncover basic aspects of our health: mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical.
We face realities we may not wish to accept (disease, scar tissue, being over-or under-weight, deformed or malnourished, etc). How we treat ourselves becomes more apparent.” We can then take the necessary steps to address any identified health concerns.
I say, don’t just stop at nudity, aim for getting comfortable with seeing your naked reflection. It is after all the easiest way to fully examine yourself – unless your head can turn 360 degrees. Granted, this experiment will be challenging, but here are two more concepts to support my argument:-
1. The Mere Exposure Effect
The mere exposure effect, also known as the familiarity principle describes a phenomenon that causes humans to rate or feel positively about things to which they are frequently and consistently exposed, including other humans.
This explains why you might find yourself thinking that douchebag Dave from work looks kinda cute, after working with him on a project for 6 months. Or, why that song from “Lil MorphX33” which your rational brain rightfully categorized as garbage 3 months ago, is now a “bop” – thanks to your favorite radio station playing it on repeat.
Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall… Who’s the Most Familiar of Them All?
I knew early on that “pretty” was not my descriptive adjective. It was subtly hinted in stories of how angry I looked when I was a baby (think “grumpy cat”, but as a tiny human), among other snarky comments. However, that did not stop the younger me from spending a good amount of time in front of full-length mirrors. Naturally, I got teased for this behavior. “Mirror watching” was only reserved for fair maidens after all.
The truth is, I had trouble remembering my own face – which also happened to be very expressive. For instance, If I thought something was gross, my face would instantly echo that sentiment. People would always tell me that I was making odd faces during conversations. So, I’d stand in front of the mirror trying to recreate different expressions in an attempt to see what they saw. Yes, those were strange times.
Getting comfortable with my reflection was a surprising side effect of my childhood tomfoolery. All that time that I spent making silly faces in front of the mirror led to a sense of familiarity. Like, I vibe with the woman in the mirror now. That’s not to say that I don’t have my little insecurities. In fact, pretty is still not my go-to adjective. But, I feel more at home with myself now, and so can you!
All the quirks you’ve spent years trying to hide, they are actually your superpowers; they’re what set you apart. They don’t make you better. They don’t make you worse. They make you you, and only you can be that.
Oliver Stark
2. Desensitization
Wikipedia defines it as a process that diminishes emotional responsiveness to a negative, aversive, or positive stimulus after repeated exposure to it. In layman’s terms, it means repeatedly facing your fears in a controlled environment, until you become numb to them.
Horror movie enthusiasts know this all too well—jump scares lose their power over time. But if I – a “Romcomer” – were to watch The Exorcist, I’d sleep with the light on and still have nightmares all week. Some therapists use this to treat phobias. While I didn’t suffer from mirror phobia, I was haunted by my stretch marks.
As I hit puberty, these stretch marks spread across my upper thighs like wildfire. I could have sworn a new one popped up every time I tried a squatting exercise. I got so insecure about them that in order to cope, I chose to pretend they didn’t exist – avoiding “eye contact”, or getting dressed in front of others. And whenever I accidentally caught a glimpse of them, I felt gutted.
A couple of years later, I decided to stop running. It’s clear these suckers were here to stay, and It was time to learn how to cohabitate with them. Technically, I’ve been treating my aversion to stretch marks through desensitization. I intentionally hang out at home sans shorts or trousers so I see more of them in a relaxed environment. Gently massaging them with a shea butter moisturizer after a warm shower. And instead of seeing them as scary creatures consuming my thighs, I’m learning to see them as beautiful ripples, reminiscent of ocean waves.
If you’re turned off by your body, it’s a sign that you need to spend more time getting to know it. See it, touch it, feel it, and embrace it until you stop being intimidated by its magnificence.
bodyonapedestal.com
Related Post: Your Body is not an ornament, it’s a Vroom, Vroom
More Naked Behavior
Several studies talk about how spending more time in the nude can positively impact your body image. The good news is, you don’t have to be a full-blown Nudist or Naturist to reap these benefits; you can take baby steps in the privacy of your own home. Try:
- Lounging, gaming, or bingeing your fav shows in the nude like it’s no big deal
- Cooking (Aprons are advised) or baking au naturale, or in lingerie if you’re not quite ready to take the plunge
- Sleeping naked. This one’s a game-changer for sleep quality. Plus, your lady parts will thank you!
- Nude yoga. If you need inspiration, check out @nude_yogagirl on Instagram
Embracing nudity not only benefits your relationship with yourself but also your relationships with others. It allows you to focus on enjoying intimate moments without worrying about your perceived flaws. By becoming familiar with your body and accepting its uniqueness, you’ll experience a new level of confidence and openness, making intimate connections more fulfilling and enjoyable.
Conclusion
The problem doesn’t lie with the mirror or the way that our bodies look. It’s the negative narrative that plays out in our minds when we’re naked or facing our reflection. This internal dialogue is the real enemy that needs to be banished.
Some participants of the “no mirror” experiment reported feeling more at peace, secure, and free in that period when they closed off mirrors at home. But what happens when you eventually catch a glimpse of yourself after a week or a month? There are way too many reflective surfaces in the 21st century… and honestly, life is too short & precious; don’t spend it being a hostage to your reflection.
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