Today, I’m going to tell you about the love (and life) lessons that I learned from a most unlikely source – a grumpy kitty cat.
I used to have many phobias; like, fear of sleeping in the dark, holes and “weird patterns”, caterpillars (any creature with more than four limbs, really); the list truly goes on. I was also scared of cats — for reasons I’d rather not get into — until I watched the movie, Garfield. I have since been obsessed with one day adopting a cat that’s just as lazy and chubby as G (it’s all for the cuddles).
Garfield was naughty and deliciously entertaining, but I loved his mantra the most. Tired of his usual antics, his human caretaker, Jon, would rhetorically ask –
“Garfield, what am I gonna do with you!?”
Garfield (yes, the cat) responds, “Love me, feed me, never leave me.”
Believe it or not, I have half-jokingly used that line on real-life boyfriends. Perhaps, this is why they are all now ex-boyfriends.
After a few glasses of wine, I’d still argue that this mantra checks the essential boxes that one would expect from a life partner. But let’s smoothen it out a little more.
- Love me — unconditionally. Even though I can be a Lazy bum (sometimes), or have thighs that jiggle with excitement when I walk.
- Feed me — if I’m too tired to do it myself. Cook for me, occasionally, and bring me breakfast in bed. Because it shows me that you care, and honestly, that sh*t is sexy, period.
- Never leave me — because I really do like you, and it would hurt, like, a lot, duh!
Isn’t that what we all want in a relationship? I mean, diamond jewelry and fancy trips to Italy are also nice, meow!
Given that we can’t hypnotize people and make them do whatever we want, sometimes the best one can do is to practice such a mantra on one’s self.
Loving me, loving you
Now, I may not be a huge fan of the way my legs look, but how else would I walk to the grocery store that’s almost 30 minutes away when I’m trying to be cheap & save on commuting costs?
So I choose to love — or, at least, appreciate — my “chicken legs” for being great at running away in the face of danger, good enough for hiking beautiful trails, and excellent at executing the “hammer dance” — can’t touch this!
Beyond cherishing parts of your body for getting the job done, It’s now best practice to occasionally run a sanity check. Pause and ask yourself — “ have I shown ME some love & appreciation today or this week?” If not, then put a little love on you ASAP!
Not sure where to start? Try writing down all the ways you would like to be loved by another. Next, have fun seeing how many of those things you could do for yourself. Sometimes, it’s as simple as being kinder to yourself, or sticking up for yourself when the need arises.
Feeding the beast… and other things
My goodness! I used to relish the art of lounging and watching others cook for me. I suppose it made me feel… special.
When I did cook for myself, it was mostly to avoid starvation. It took going through a twisted breakup for me to finally appreciate the beauty of cooking and intentional nourishment.
Cooking during that period felt so therapeutic. I don’t know if you can relate, but successfully creating those delicious meals gave me a decent ego boost, at a time when I was feeling like a failure.
One can argue that cooking is a form of artistic expression, but beyond that, there’s power in knowing and controlling what you put into your body.
In the same vein, you could learn to take charge of the media you consume. Aim to constantly feed your mind and body the right content to help you grow stronger, healthier, and wiser.
No more letting go…
Letting yourself go could show up in the form of ignoring your health & wellness goals, or even losing your sense of self in a relationship. I can’t hide the fact that I lose myself a couple of times a year.
Some of my common warning signs are:
- When I no longer cringe at the sight of my cluttered and messy apartment, which means I will have no urge to clean up & re-organize the mess.
- When instant noodles or ordering greasy fast food becomes the norm.
(As someone who enjoys complimenting other people) when I catch myself hating on a random stranger, just for looking “put together”, that’s usually the ultimate sign that I have been neglecting myself.
The road to recovery starts with:
- Acknowledging the situation.
- Identifying the root cause — in my case, this usually happens during periods of immense stress.
- Finally, fixing the damage across different aspects of my life.
After putting in the work, I’d eventually find my way back to my little pedestal, allowing me to celebrate others without feeling less than them.
As for you, my Darling…
I hope that you find someone who loves you in the way that you deserve to be loved, cherishes you like it’s their life’s purpose, and is smart enough to never, ever walk away from you. But above all, I urge you to choose to always stand by yourself.
Love you,
Feed you
& Never let you go
… because honestly, it’s just more sustainable, and oh-so empowering when you don’t need someone else to do it for you.
What life lessons have you learned along the way? How do you get yourself out of a rut? What’s your TLC routine like? Let’s trade ideas in the comments section.
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